Got Coffee?

I'm so excited, I just had to share. Today, folks, I will be telling you about my new favorite detoxing method. I wasn't sure about it at first, and we put it off as long as we could. But, now that I've been doing this every day for over a week, I just can't hold back. I need to tell all of you about... the coffee enema. And, whoosh! I just lost half my readership in one moment. Hopefully I can keep the other three of you interested and convince you that coffee enemas are the wave of the future.

Let me start by telling you a bit about WHY they are so good for you. If you are battling cancer, the coffee enema is a very powerful weapon in your arsenal. That's arseNAL for those of you giggling right now. I don't blame you. Adam and I did a lot of giggling when we first got our enema kits in the mail. Anyway, we first read about coffee enemas when we were investigating the Gerson protocol for fighting cancer. We have implemented some aspects of the Gerson protocol along side Adam's current treatment to maximize his chances of success. The Gerson therapy is an intensive detoxing protocol involving a strict diet, juicing every hour on the hour, and several coffee enemas a day. Many many people have successfully survived cancer utilizing the Gerson therapy, and it would be foolish to ignore it without doing a bit of research first. Coffee enemas are the cornerstone of the Gerson treatment and are used to detox the liver and gallbladder. Let me tell you why. The introduction of diluted coffee into the colon triggers the bile ducts to dilate, which allows the liver to release toxins. A study from the University of Minnesota showed that rectal coffee administration stimulates an enzyme called glutathione S-transferase in the liver which removes free radicals from the bloodstream. The study found that the activity of this enzyme is increased by up to 700% after a coffee enema. A six-year clinical study at the District Hospital of Graz, Austria confirmed the advantages of implementing coffee enemas in oncological protocols. The researchers discovered that two active ingredients of coffee (cafestol and kahweol) increased the activity of glutathione S-transferase sevenfold. When one is using any treatment to attack and kill tumor tissue, conventional or alternative, toxins are accumulated in the body either from the medicine itself in the case of chemotherapy, or from the immune system breaking down the cancer. This process carries the risk of taxing out the liver, which in cancer patients is already debilitated. This is why it is important to consider a good detoxing method. Now for a bit of history. Water enemas have been used in medicine since Hippoctrates introduced them 2,600 years ago. Only in recent times has the routine use of enemas lost its popularity. The use of coffee as enema material began in Germany during World War I when morphine was in short supply. In desperation, nurses began pour leftover coffee into the enema buckets to ease the pain of wounded soldiers after surgery. They found that it was a very effective method of pain relief.  This accidental discovery came to the attention of two medical researchers in Germany who went on to test the effects of coffee enemas on rats, and found that when caffeine travels up the hemorrhoidal vein to the liver, it dilutes bile ducts and allows the liver to release accumulated toxins.

So now that I've given you a few points to ponder as to why we decided to do this, I will now go onto the specifics. I know the look of horror on your face. I've been there. But, I promise you it really really isn't all that bad. I had read testimonies online of people gushing about their daily coffee enemas. They all swore that they looked forward to them every day, and felt so amazing afterwords. I didn't think it could be true. But, I'm now a convert myself, and I actually do look forward to it every morning, and I do actually feel amazing afterwords. I start the process by boiling the coffee. I boil just over a liter of water, and add 3 heaping tablespoons of coffee to the pot. I'm working up to 4 scoops, but I'm not quite there yet. This boils for 3 minutes, then I put the lid on, turn down the heat to a simmer, and let it cook 15 more minutes. Once it has had a chance to cool a bit I strain it with muslin and pour equal amounts of the coffee into two jars. One for Adam and one for me. I usually end up with 16oz of coffee each. Then I dilute it. I add enough warm water to total 24oz of enema material for me, and Adam does the full 32oz. Then I'm off to the bathroom! I actually skip up the stairs.

I set up my little “enema den” with a towel lining the bathtub, and another towel rolled up as a pillow. The coffee gets poured into my enema bucket, and I unclamp the tube to let the liquid pour all the way to the end. Then I clamp it tight, and lubricate the tip a bit. The next part was the most horrifying the first day, and now is just so second-nature I can't believe I was ever anxious about it. I lie down in the tub on my right side and curl up into the fetal position. The tube goes in, which was a bit weird the first time but is a total non-issue now. I have the bucket hanging up on the little washcloth rail in the tub, so I just unclamp the tube and let the coffee run in. You don't feel a thing! You might hear a little gurgling from your intestines, but there is no sensation whatsoever of the coffee going in. Once the bucket is empty, I clamp the tube and gently remove it. Then I get to lie still for 12 minutes. Actually I haven't made it to 12 minutes yet, but I'm getting close. I've read, played Bejeweled on my iPod, and I have every intention of praying the Rosary... starting tomorrow. I promise. Anyway, when the time is up it's time to “evacuate”. I suppose that part is self-explanatory. Then I just wash out the bucket (remember there's only been coffee in there!) and rinse out the tubing. Voila! All in all, it takes less than 30 minutes of my morning, but boy is it worth it. I swear you feel about 5 pounds lighter afterwards. And you really do feel clear-headed and ready to start the day. Adam goes in after me, and he is loving his enemas. His short-term memory issues that plagued him after the surgery have totally cleared up, and he's convinced it's the enemas that are doing it.

So I hope you don't feel that this has been too much information, but I really strongly feel that more people should be using the coffee enemas in treating their medical problems. I have the hopes that it will help me with my migraines, and the occasional detox is definitely useful even for the healthiest among us. Watch some colonoscopies on YouTube and you'll see why. Next up, I'll be writing about my other favorite part of Adam's protocol... juicing!!